I’m Becca and this is my new wedding/marriage/family/home blog. I am, and hope this blog will be, kind of offbeat/practical/indie, etc. This is not a statement about any of those sites. I’m not fixing something they didn’t get right and I’m not trying to compete with them. So why don’t I just contribute there? Meg says, on A Practical Wedding, “Start a blog if you feel like you have a perspective that’s not being heard. If you’re doing exactly what someone else is already doing, what’s the point?” And that almost stopped me from making this. But there are a number of reasons why, even though I feel myself to be a kindred spirit addressing similar issues as some of the amazing women blogging about these kinds of things, I want my own space.
I just saw Meg speak at the Pasadena stop of the APW book tour and the main thing I came away with was the thought, “I need to be writing right now!” I’ve always been a writer. I journaled almost every day from when I was 9 to when I was 12 or so, and words have always made sense to me. When something is written well it sounds right to me, and I edit sentences in my head before I even get them out. Words feel important, and I often feel caught in a situation or feeling until I have figured out the words to describe it. Jared and I got engaged in October, but our 3 months of engagement so far have felt like a lifetime. I find myself having important thoughts about relationships, family, death, commitment, and home every day. It has been wonderful to read other’s thoughts on this at some of the sites mentioned above, and I am so thankful to be engaged at a time when these communities are thriving. But just as reading another 12-year-old’s diary might make 12-year-old Becca feel less alone and confused, it isn’t a substitute for writing myself. Yes, I can comment and contribute to other communities, and I’d like to, but this also feels important.
My future sister in law has a blog about her home, life, and family. It’s not what many would consider offbeat, but it’s adorable, and I like seeing photos of her daily life and the lives of my nieces. She’s become part of a community of women who blog about their homes, lives, and families too. They comment on each other’s stories and photos and even send each other gifts. I want something like that for people who visit the kinds of sites I like to read. People who question shaving their legs, for example. So let’s do that! Let’s all write about our wedding planning, marriages, jobs, and everything else. Let’s all start blogs and share bits of our experience and thoughts with each other. We can all gather at a few central spots, but let’s also decentralize a bit. What are you thinking about today?
I’m thinking about this blog title. It’s from a meditation we learned at a zen retreat we attended at Deer Park Monastery in May 2010. As you walk, you are supposed to say to yourself, “I have arrived. I am home.” Soon after Jer and I got engaged, I had a mini-freakout. “It’s like you’re going somewhere in life but you never get there! You just keep GOING!” I said through tears. Then I remembered the meditation and realized a much better way to think about is that we are all already here. We have arrived. Whether we’re waiting for or planning a proposal, planning a wedding, already married, or anything else, we have arrived! There’s nowhere to go. Just be here.