Asking for help

28 Mar

I have heard several times now, while wedding planning, that it is important to ask for help, and that when people offer help, to say yes. And yet, I almost did what the people giving this advice did (which is probably why they gave me the advice). Every few weeks during wedding planning I’ve had an evening or afternoon when I’ve gotten really overwhelmed. Usually it is a bit after completing a major task. After each of these, booking the venue, buying my dress, signing the catering contract, I’ll get a rush…”We are checking things off! We are making this happen!” And then comes the panic, “But there are so many more things to do! I thought I was checking something off but really I was just adding a million little things on!” For example, after our meeting with our new caterer, I was excited, but then I realized we now had to schedule a tasting, figure out the champagne situation, acquire a cake knife, figure out what our nieces want to eat, ETC.

A lot of people have offered to help with crafting. My major crafting project has been origami flowers and I’m actually almost done! Yay! I didn’t really want help with those anyway. It felt like a personal goal I had to meet. I wanted to say I folded all the flowers for our wedding. Also, I was reading in the APW book about different purposes of crafting, one of them being to keep your hands and mind busy while processing a major life transition, and I think the flowers have served that role for me. When I finish those, the boutonnieres and place settings might fill in, but I am not as emotionally attached to those so I may end up asking for help.

Other people, though, have told me to tell them how they can help in general. And until now, I hadn’t asked them to do anything, as the major things felt like things I needed to do alone or with Jared, and the smaller things didn’t feel like as big of a deal. Then I realized that if I ask for help with the smaller things, the ones that I don’t feel need my personal touch, or I’m not as emotionally invested in, the bigger things won’t seem as overwhelming. So I started by asking my sister if she would be responsible for making sure my attendants have ordered their dresses and shoes. And she said of course! So that’s one less thing I have to worry about. šŸ™‚ So now I have to think of some more things I can ask for help with. Here are my ideas so far:

  • Set up and clean up of the venue
  • Making sure the hotel accommodations are set
  • Decorating for the ceremony and reception
  • Addressing and stamping invitations

This will already make things easier. šŸ™‚



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