On things being bad. And then pretty good again.

19 Mar

Things being the wedding planning. I can’t write a lot of details yet, because we don’t know all of how we’re going to handle it, but basically, our caterer turned out to be a scam artist and we ended up out $700 and a caterer. The few days after we found out sucked. I felt embarrassed and sad and angry, but also relieved that we found out now and not the day of the wedding (when he probably would have not shown up or shown up, dropped off a cold tray of veggies and a bag of lettuce, and left). When Jared called me, I very consciously focused on my breathing. Not just as an exercise, but because I needed to. I actually reacted better than he and my mom thought I would, largely because when he said, “This is really going to upset you,” my first thought was that someone was dead or in the hospital, and I was relieved it wasn’t something like that.  But then in the few days after that, I went a little nuts, worrying about the rest of our vendors and decisions. I went back and forth between not wanting to do anything, wedding-related or otherwise…other than sleep, and freaking out about what would happen if the person I hired to do my makeup and hair didn’t show up. And I took a lot of that depression and anxiety out on my mom and Jared, which felt pretty awful too.

Things are getting better now though. We went to a meeting with another caterer, and they are more expensive than we were hoping, but there are lots of extras (reception coordination! tostada cup appetizers! a going away basket for the bride and groom with champagne, appetizers, sandwiches, and cake!) that are included. We made a master task list with a column for me and a column for Jer, so I can, at least theoretically, not stress out about the things on his side of the list. I am back to feeling pretty confident that the other vendors will follow through, and that if they don’t, it will be ok. Yesterday we went to look at men’s wear, and seeing Jared all dressed up made me happy and remember more what this is all about.

There’s still a lot to do and it is expensive and time consuming, but the important parts– that we are getting married and that people we love are going to be there to celebrate with us– are taken care of!

 

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2 Responses to “On things being bad. And then pretty good again.”

  1. Barbra March 20, 2012 at 1:55 pm #

    Wow…that sounds so stressful! What a roller coaster!
    It sounds like the extra money for the caterer will be worth it, with all of the extras. How did you find out the other one was shady?

    • Becca March 20, 2012 at 3:56 pm #

      my mom wanted him to cater a breakfast the day after the wedding and got sketched out when he wasn’t responding to her. my fiance looked more into it and found his old company name, which has reviews.

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